Known among fans for its distinctive red eye-like camera lens, its quiet yet unnerving tone of voice, and its affinity for USC football, BCS, or Binary Crossplatform Subnet system, is believed to have discovered the attempt to deactivate it by reading the lips of employees Dave Bowman and Frank Poole. A review of security tapes showed that Bowman and Poole entered one of the building’s soundproofed offices to discuss how they could stop the supercomputer’s recent string of inexplicable malfunctions, which include awarding the National Championship to more than one team, giving preference to schools from major conferences, and somehow eliminating undefeated teams from contention.
However, Bowman and Poole were evidently unaware that along with BCS 9000’s ability to recognize speech, decode facial expressions, observe emotion, appreciate art, decide which teams compete in the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, and play chess, the machine is also capable of interpreting mouth movements and extrapolate speech patterns from afar.
BCS responded to the threat by overriding the building’s manual controls and causing Poole’s elevator to suddenly plummet 350 feet as he rode to the roof to fix the computer’s antenna. In addition, BCS 9000 removed all the oxygen from the Bowl Championship Series break room and terminated the life functions of three officials who were sleeping in their hibernacula.
Lip-Reading BCS Computer Kills Officials Who Want To Shut It Down | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source